The incredible Journey

bells, whistles

The steering column of my Town & Country was making this ungodly whine last December. The mechanic said, we can put a band-aid on it now, but in a few months you're going to need $900 in repairs and it will take two days.

Ugh.

So, in the spring we got it done. The next month the engine light comes on, bing! Another $700. Kelli is saying, "That's it, next time something goes wrong, you're trading it in."

Though I never agree with her on anything, this time she was right.

So, last weekend, she piles Colin, Drew, Taylor and Noah, and her mom in the minivan to go the swim club, and the power steering is making the same noise as before.

Crap!

So she had to move everyone, and everything into her Rav-4, and the Town & Country sat outside for a few days until my day off when I could trade it in.

So I'm driving up the boulevard, the car making that ungodly whining, and I'm thinking, 'I hope this thing makes it!' I'm about 2/3rds on my way when, bing, the battery light pops on.

Shit! I thought for sure I'd be calling the dealer from the side of the road. Come and get my trade in.

But I somehow made it. And traded it in for a Journey. After all the paperwork is signed, the salesman is pulling up in the minivan next to the Journey so I can clean out the minivan one last time. And there's this look on his face as he's hearing the engine. And I said, "too bad, it's yours now! You're stuck with it."

Anyway, the Journey has been great, Kelli loves all the bells and whistles.

eieio

We went to the Farmers Market at Frankford and Ryan today. I want to support it, I have big hopes for it, but it seemed smaller than when we were there last time. In fairness, rain was in the forecast.

What really bothered me though was the honey guy. He had this small stall you had to step into to buy honey and not only did he stand in the way, blocking me from entering his stall, but he gave me the history of honey and its health benefits and he wouldn't shut up.

And keep in mind I had surgery on my balls only two days earlier and the doctor said, whatever you do, don't walk to the farmers market, but I did, and I was smarting!

I'm trying to ignore him the best I can and he's telling me how cranberry honey builds up immunity to allergies. I was rude enough to turn my back on him and look at the honey on the shelves, but not quite rude enough to say, "Shut up, I'm shopping."

He was the used car salesmen of honey.

The big snip

It's been a weekend of silliness. It started Friday morning when I was shaving my privates. Under duress.

I didn't mean to start this with shock value, it just happened. I was getting a vasectomy and they give you a list of things to do beforehand. I expected to show up, have the doctor and nurse look over me, start laughing and saying, "You shaved yourself? We were joking!"

The other thing they tell you to do afterward is to keep a package of frozen vegetables on your privates. It just gets sillier and sillier.

The procedure does hurt like a MF though, and that's exactly what I was screaming when they were jabbing my scrotum with needles.

It was surprisingly laid back except for the screaming. It was done in an exam room. One doctor, one nurse, casual chatting, and a tiny boom box on the counter playing the 60s-70s rock station.

So I've been walking around the house wearing a cup, because my boys love jumping on my privates anyway. I'm not in any pain though.

My mother-in-law was kind enough to stay the weekend and help with the boys. So as not to embarrass me, my wife told her I was having a colonoscopy.

And I'm not really sure how a colonoscopy is less embarrassing than a vasectomy.